My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
