Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize