just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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