we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just want to make out with him forever
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
