I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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