i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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