You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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