and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
