I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
