Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
