Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
