what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
