Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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