oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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