The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
