He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
