all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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