how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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