he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she told me i tasted like america
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
