The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
