Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
