i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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