You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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