i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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