I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
