Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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