so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
