I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
