Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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