i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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