I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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