I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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