is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
