and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
