It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
