her vagine was all disorganized.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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