I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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