Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
