so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize