Is it because I queefed?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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