he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize