Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
