maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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