I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
