That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
