If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
This house was built for laser tag.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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