I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
