i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
