Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
