singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
