I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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