i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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