Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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