I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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