I'm going to jail i love you
Ambien. No doubt about it.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
