he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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