no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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