Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
