I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
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