Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
