Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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