I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
