I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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